Have you ever sneaked out of bed – under the guise of checking on the kids – and turned on the computer to scour the internet looking for clues as to what might be wrong with your marriage?
Have you stood in front of the Self-Help or Relationships sections of Barnes and Noble, latte in one hand, book list in the other, hoping to find the one book that tells you what you’ve been doing wrong?
Have you ever hesitated to tell your best friend what happens in your house because you are afraid she won’t understand when you try to tell her what it’s like to go about each day without being able to take a deep breath?
Have you ever looked in the mirror and said to yourself, “I thought I’d be happier than this.”
I was the woman who tip-toed out of the bedroom in the middle of the night to get on her computer and search for answers that would explain her unhappiness.
I Googled everything I could think of…
“He won’t listen.”
“Why can’t I please him?”
“He criticizes everything I do.”
“He doesn’t love me anymore.”
“Best way to clean wood floors.”
“Men who groom incessantly.”
“When kids can’t please their fathers.”
I didn’t find answers that fit my situation.
When my health continued to suffer, I made the choice to pack up my kids and move.
A month later I discovered narcissism and spent every spare moment searching for everything I could read about NPD.
In Seeing My Path I explore the choices that led to my marriage to a narcissist.
This is an honest assessment of how I let circumstances lead me down a path, only to wake up one day and realize I was completely lost.
Pictures illustrate my journey; quotes emphasize the lessons learned.
Many chapters include questions to help you pause and think about your own choices and whether you’ve veered from your path.
It’s a light, positive, optimistic read that’s straightforward, a little funny and empowering.
I wrote this for all those who find themselves desperately looking for answers in the middle of the night.
Excerpt from Seeing My Path:
I continued to blindly give of my time and my energy. I would give until I was drained. I would become angry and resentful that I wasn’t receiving. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting as much as I was giving.
Instead of re-evaluating the way I related to others, I assumed that I just needed to keep giving, and that one day, I would meet the one person who appreciated what I had to give.
This would be the person who would then give what I needed.
So I kept giving.
And I still wasn’t receiving.
This pattern of giving without receiving made me the perfect candidate for a relationship with a narcissist, because a narcissist only receives, he is not capable of giving.
More books by Jesse…